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pegasus said:
Misery is not a choice.

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And you have every right in the world to take me up on any opinion I have...not one of them is conclusive.

But I did state that "many times" misery is a choice...I seldom use intrinsic qualifiers that imply an accepted conclusion.

Pegasus,,you are indeed a wonderfull person who has suffered and simply by your presence here and in therapy IRL,,you are making profound efforts to change much of what you feel. And that is all you can do..You cannot change history. But you certainly can change how you feel about it.

I have been on both sides of the fence of suffering Peg,,,I too, suffered as a child. I was victimized by those who should have loved me most. As a result, I became a runner,,one who pledged emotionally to never face the issue again. I nearly died with that pledge. I don't know if there is anything more frightening on this humble planet,, than losing your mind,,and knowing it as it happens...

It was literally like facing the devil himself,,and I never, ever wish to see his face again.

On the other side of this fence,,I have been involved with healing,,or at least offering it to hundreds of souls along the way. And as sad as this reality is,,most have taken it,,tried it like some new exotic food,,and given it back.

They took misery instead, and not only did they take it,,they defended it as if it was a pricelss identity.

In my twenty years of one day at a time,,not running,,I have met some wonderfull souls..people who had hearts of lions, and reserves of compassion that I have never emulated. But I have buried may of these wonderfull people Peg,,,because, in the end,,they choose their misery over anything anyone could offer.

We are all here Peg to try to figure a way of of this box we're in. Just our presence is a mark of incredible willingness to change the nature of how we feel...

Some of us will make it and some of us won't,,,

If I could wish for only one thing,,,it would be to know how to open the box for everyone..

But I can't. I will keep trying.

Love,

Lenny