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Old Aug 27, 2008, 06:12 PM
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seeker1950 seeker1950 is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2005
Location: WV
Posts: 8,131
For several years now, I've posted about receiving emails from the old high school boyfriend. The one who went off to Harvard, and lives in Mass now, with wife.
I realize as I"ve had to wean myself from hearing from him, how dependent I had become on this for some kind of emotional fulfillment, as he nursed me thru some very bad relationships with the men with whom I'd been involved since my divorce. We even had a couple of in-person visits in which there were a lot of romantic sparks while he was down here in WV on business. But during his last trip down here, I chose not to see him, and it alienated him, after which I didn't hear from him for some time. Our correspondence since then has been erratic, and less and less (from him). During this time, I have been almost ill from the lack of communication, though I also realize because of this, that my dependence on it was unhealthy.
Responses here about all of this over the last couple of years have told me that I have been wrong to depend on this...primarily because he is married. I almost feel cynical now about him, since choosing not to see him has transpired into less and less communication from him. Our letters in the past had been rather romantic in an abstract sort of way, especially after our in-person visits.
I did receive an email from him yesterday, after several months of not hearing from him, in which he spent a long paragraph talking about how happy he is with his wife, and the other stuff was just newsy, about his garden and his two sons. Soooo...yes, after about a year of this waiting to hear from him, realizing how dependent I had become on this for my emotional fulfillment in my sorely lacking life, I've had it!
I did respond to his email, though I had told myself I'd just "delete" it, if I ever rec'd another one. But my response was actually just like his...newsy and nondescript. Should I abstain from responding at all in the future? I don't know. I still think of him as a friend.
Patty