Hi JesseD!!!

It can be so difficult when a relationship ends. Although your former fiancee is still alive, it is still a grieving process -- you need to grieve the end of the relationship.

Grieving will include feeling angry, feeling sad, pleading for a second chance, wishing things could be different, and finally acceptance of what has happened.

Even if you do have a relationship with her again, you *still* need to grieve the one that ended. Otherwise, the second time around you and she will just bring baggage from the previous breakup.

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How do i mend things with her, regain her trust, and hopefully get back together with her?... What can I do to fix this?

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The first piece of advice I would offer is -- you CANNOT change how she feels. Don't even try right now. Focus on yourself, and learning from the situation.

It doesn't matter if she drinks, or hooks up with another guy -- those are her choices, and she will be the one who will have to deal with any consequences. As long as you worry *for* her, it will be very difficult to find the separation necessary to heal.

Journaling can be a great way to get all those thoughts out of your head, without involving your ex.
Finding someone you can talk to can also be very helpful. (Have you ever considered finding a counselor?)

Once you are healed, then you will be ready for another relationship -- either with your Ex or with someone new. Right now, focus on YOU. Focus on what you need, and what lessons you can learn about yourself.

I know it seems like she is the only one for you -- but that idea, is part of what is causing you so much pain. The attachment to something that you cannot have right now.

Hang in there, be kind to yourself, and reach out to your friends. Oh -- and, don't forget to have some fun -- do art, learn something new, funny movies, etc. Having fun is an important part of self-care and healing.

HTH