Hi JackKerouac,
I can understand your feelings here, but like KD, I think it's mental illness in general and I'm so sorry your friend is having to deal with so much right now.

As far as DID being a gift, I have mixed feelings about it. It did save me but it definitely causes some problems now.

I have DID. I'm a parent of two children, who are grown for the most part. During most of their growing up years, I did not know I had DID. LIke KD, I'm a caretaker here and no one takes care of me but I have wondered sometimes if there was always someone who took care of my children.

There were times where I was not the greatest mom. I was inconsistent mostly from what I've found out. I may have done the best I could, but I think I was lacking in a lot of ways. But, my kids do not have to take care of me, nor did they ever have to.

My daughter loves children and loves to babysit even though she has a job and is a full time student in college. She said she learned how to get right down on a child level and interact with the kids because of her mom and the way her mom did the same.

My son has needed a caretaker until very recently. He struggled and raged and had all sorts of things going on for him that he was not able to cope with. He could hardly take care of himself let alone his mom. Turns out he has bipolar. Now that he is older, he's realized the need for his medicine and he's doing okay for the most part. He's not DID.

Both of my kids are very strong independent adults now. They can take care of themselves but if anyone takes care of anyone, it's still me taking care of them. And I'm glad to be able to do that.

Do I want someone to take care of me? Yeah, sometimes I do. Sometimes I think what it might be like if someone would take care of me, but when it comes down to it, I don't know that I could handle it. It would feel smothering to me I think.

As far as I know, I've never really had anyone take good care of me and so I think it would be extremely hard for me to allow anyone to try now.

If your friend's mom is struggling so much that she cannot function in her daily life, it's my opinion that there is more going on than DID. DID is all about survival and doing what needs to be done to survive. I do not know what medication your friend's mom is taking, but there is no medication for DID.

I'm so sorry for your relationship with your friend and I'm so sorry that your friend feels she has to take care of her mom. I hope your friend will reach out for support and help.

Best of everything to you Jack and welcome to Psych Central