((((((((((((((((earthmama)))))))))))))
I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now. I understand not knowing and when I first started becoming aware of it, it was definitely startling. The nice thing I have found is that I can often backtrack now and find out what I've done. I don't generally read sent emails because that freaks me out too much, but I do go back and read incoming emails to see if that gives me clues and I go back and read posts to find information there, even if all I can say is "okay, I was obviously on my computer that night." I also look at calendars and post-its, etc to recreate my days if I can.

I think stress definitely is a HUGE factor in it. The more stressed I am, the more I am unable to stay present and therefore the less memory I have of things I've done. I think it's a pretty normal thing for everyone.

I remember one time my T and I were talking and she was having some pretty stressful stuff going on. She said when her emotions are high, there goes her memory. She does not have a dissociative disorder at all. I asked if everyone has that. She said probably not everyone, but a lot of people react to high emotions and stress that way.

I hope things calm down for you soon earthmama. I know it can be somewhat disheartening to not know what's going on sometimes.