Well, it's not bullcrap, you are hurting and trying to deal with loss.
Hang on for now, we are here supporting you, it's ok to vent on here.
(((((((( Der_Sohn_des_Leides )))))))))
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein