Der,
What you're going through is not petty. Heartbreak, oh the sting and the burn seems like it'll never stop. It took me quite awhile to heal from my heartbreak - folks around me thought I was being silly - that it took as long as it did before I would ever even consider opening up to another person. I even had a person who was interested in knowing me better, yell at me. I wasn't ready.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you've got to allow yourself time to heal. You've got to be safe and stay safe. It seems impossible now, but slogging through each day is a must. You know why? Because you... YOU are worth it. You are a gift. You need time to heal.
I had to keep telling myself that if that one person could "love" me as is at one point in time, then there had to be another soul out there who would love me no matter what, for a lifetime. I may have closed the door on some possibilities along the way, but I wasn't ready to let anyone else in for some time - why would I want to put myself through that kind of pain ever again?
Please be safe and stay safe,
Einna