6 years ago i was molested by a family member and never told anyone about this matter. After that I got into a relationship was a man that i thought i was in love with but after getting out of it after 5 years i was being emotionally abused by him and 2 years the abuse went on. And all these problems carried into my new relationship to the guy i am married too. we've had our fair share of problems in our life one due to my past problems and our marriage problems. and i did have a breakdown 2 years ago. but my husband and I are on the verge of a seperation and we do want out. not only that. my husband cheated on me with not knowing about it and i cheated on him. our sex drive is very low so i had a short fling with another man to have sex with. but never told my husband that i was trying to have sex with another man, but never went through with the sex.

its like i am living 2 personalities and have lost my identity. i hide it very well and not have anyone finding out about this. I've tried to committ sucide 6 day's ago. i took a knife trying to stab myself but my husband caught up with me. My parents dont know i am mentally disturbed. no one knows. am i sick? sometimes i cant stand my parents or my in laws. sometimes i cant even stand myself. i dont want to hurt my husband anymore than this but I cant stand him either. what is the matter with me?