Yeah, everytime i recover from an anger attack, panic attack, depression or whatever, I feel that it's not as bad as I made it out to be, and that I was "stretching" the feelings... Although, different from you, I'm not taking medications yet.

Today, a therapist classified me as "homicidal", which does indeed feel right, and "suicidal", which I find hard to believe. I mean, i DO think of stuff normal people don't think (including suicide attempts to gain medical attention when my attacks get bad), but I don't think I'll ever really go suicidal. I love my 139IQ brain too much to give it and my goals up in less than a day!

So, what I'm trying to say is: everytime we get better, we feel that the whole experience wasn't as bad as we made it out to be, and we were just like that in order to gain something (attention in your case). Don't worry, it just means you've recovered a long way! But remember: It doesn't mean you're cured, so don't get too optimistic.
(Sorry for the pessimistic thought)