My T is on vacation. She comes back on Tuesday and I have an appointment. But I have been struggling all week. On Tuesday, I decided that I would call the covering PDoc (I do T with my Pdoc) and ask for something for the nightmares. So I called my T's machine to get the covering doctor's information. But there is no covering doctor. T is covering herself. The message said that she would be checking her messages once per day. But I don't want to bother her on her vacation. I don't want to be seen as needy. So I have not called. Yesterday was particularly bad. I disclosed some of my history in group therapy. Someone made a sarcastic remark and everyone started laughing. Except for me. I didn't think it was funny. Last night I started spiraling downhill. Bad dreams. Unable to sleep. Felt self destructive. I want to call. I don't know if I can.