Hi September,

I generally try to stay positive on the forum, but I have had some problems with the STA strategy, having learned it and used it in the past. Maybe someone can clear this up for me.

First, it hasn't worked with bullies. Telling someone who is having a go at me that they are making me feel hurt or angry has only seemed to give them the bloodscent and worsened the situation. On the few occasions that I have managed to say, 'You - get off my case, or else' or 'You are out of order' the result has been very much better.

So my first point is that revealing our feelings in the 'real' world can be counterproductive.

Second, there have been times when I know that people are screwing me, it has happened with colleagues and 'cliques' which have changed towards me. There was one time when a female colleague turned against me and had me cut out of social invitations from other colleagues. I raised this with one of the others in the classic STA way. This colleague said that I was being 'paranoid', but guess what, she never invited me again.

My point here is that if people are screwing you, it's no use showing your cards, for they are going to screw you anyway.

Sorry to be negative on this one, and I'm open to enlightenment.

Cheers, Myzen.