=( I am sorry you feel so bad right now!!!
It looks like you did just "say it out loud" - it is out, and we are reading it, so that is a step forward! You know there are T resources here online? Can you print your post, make and appointment and show what you typed?
Starting is the biggest hurdle... from there, things can be managed.
Hoping you can find a T and make an appointment!!!!
I support you!
Kiya