ive often thought about this myself coming from the situation i have (mother was an alcoholic - father into drugs).

i think this is pretty common across the board regardless of WHATEVER your childhood background is = you will always yearn for your parents to be parents, to be there for you and support you in your life even in the smallest ways.

i think the coping mechanism i built in my life was i actually looked up to a buddy of mine and what his family was like. i just took it to heart that one day i could have something like that if i worked hard enough for it. am i there now? nope. can i be? sure!

its hard to pick yourself up with your bootstraps all by yourself time and time again - i have gone through friends and learned just HOW MUCH is safe to say to people who aren't familly. boundaries are pretty much a given - and sometimes even to family. i've been blatantly honest with my mother about things now for years - it hasn't changed a thing.

so am i cold? you bet. to some people. cold as a nurse? no. so there is a line where i can be compassionate given that other peoples circumstances really don't effect me overall (but again being a nurse is emotionally draining at times).

i've learned to keep my feelings close to me except in special circumstances. being hurt is a part of life - but if you wear your heart on your sleeve you are just opening yourself up for emotional abuse (IHMO)