well my wife left me last year, said that I was like living with slow death. Though to his credit, her son, my step son, opted to stay with me to make sure I was alright. But he has touretts and is 18 so a lot of times I wonder if he helps more then hurts.

My Dad lives about 20 minutes away, and do not see or talk with him to much, my brother lives and hour away and about the same. I may see them maybe once a month if lucky. Dad I think understands, cause of ma, think she had the same thing before she passed away. My brother I am not so sure, he tries to light a fire under me, but he does not get it alot of times I don't think.

So usually, it is just myself to deal with things, and frankly it's %#@&#! hard and seems at least lately to be getting harder by the day. I don't believe I am taking the right meds, but I'm fighting with V.A. doctors on that. Which is the only way I get any help.

Logically I guess I know things will work out, but emotionally and the what not it does not appear to be so. Every day is a struggle and fight to find a reason to keep on fighting and not just give in. It would not suprise me before it's all said and done, I'll be living on the street some where.

sigh - sorry I rambled again, have a tendency to do that. Some times you just need to tell me to shut the *&() up eh