..because I was all positive in chat the other night, had thrown away razors, told my d that I didn't do that anymore. Because, I thought, there's really no reason to. NOW, I have a reason.. I hate myself. I'm such an emotional wreck at times. I just want to get away from me. I want the peace the cutting brings.. I'm still trying not to...don't want to..but do...
Everytime I am up I think "maybe this is the time, this will stay" I must be F%(&*%* delusional then. Sure, I'm gonna feel better,and then later feel like %#@&#!... and on and on it goes.
Anyway, when I start getting all "up" and "positive" don't believe it, it's just an illusion...
Sorry for ranting, and sounding so "well" the other day