Yesterday we took our son to see 2 docs. Finally someone listened!!!

Our son acted out pretty much at the app... which in a way was good so they could see how he's acting. After a short while - hubby had to go elsewhere with our son and I talked to the docs alone. For 2 hours... we discussed our son's condition and how to give him the proper help. To cut it short... he's as from today taking Zoloft (Sertraline) along with his Risperdal. If the Zoloft doesn't show any effect at all in 3 weeks... then he's going to be put on Strattera for his ADHD. Like they said there are 2 sides of this: 1. the sadness and feeling worthlessness... or call it depression 2. the impulses making it much "easier" for him to act out towards us and trying to hurt himself.
So we're going to try 2 different approaches when it comes to meds.

Hubby's going to change his work schedule and work 25 % less - for me not to be home alone with both kids at the same time. This is only for 2 weeks though... in this first stage.

If our son get into more actions when it comes to him being suicidal... then we at least know where to go now... the place we where at yesterday (Child and Youth Psychiatric Care) in weekdays until 4 pm, after that and in the weekends - PIVA (Psychiatric Intensive Care Ward), but that place is most of all for adults... so our son going there would not be so good - seeing all that might be going on in there.

The thing is... I'm so exhausted and broke into pieces crying like crazy in therapy this Wednesday. I'm still going to be the one "holding the fort" so to speak. I want to do that... I feel a need to do that... I love my family... but I'm falling apart... I can't sleep because of all the worry... I have headaches... my tummy's acting out... I'm feeling a lot of anxiety...