thankyou all for being so nice and thankyou for explaining about the Morphine Sabby... trouble is, each time i go in to the hospital, noone reads my notes, they didn't even realise i had a hysterectomy ... i had to explain 3 times to each doctor i dont have periods anymore ......

the thing that upsets meis, i used to be able to stick up for myself. This time i felt so weak. i FELT like a child ... i couldn't tell the consultant how i felt. The way i was crying in front of that nurse made me embarrassed ... a 43 year old woman doesn't act that way .... i just ... couldn't get my words out thru sobbing .... i kept saying sorry, she said she would make sure the matron had a word with me in the morning .... i never saw the matron, just the same consultant who said they weren't ruling out taking the ovary away, just needed to make sure it was the ovary casuing the problem ..... i was asked several times if i wanted to see a different consultant, but i dont want to offend anyone .... i keep thinking back to the way i was, upset, and feel such an idiot .... Tony keeps reassuring me he isn't sick of me ..... i just feel like i am one big pain in the *** ..... it's in my notes that i suffer with anxiety, but they never bother reading notes ..... maybe if i go in again they should give me a brain transplant ..... i cant even describe to you guys how i'm really feeling right now.....

sorry to go on so long .... Jin