I used to be anxious. Now I am not. Previously I had a lot of trouble functioning in social situations. Now I do not. I used to have low self-esteem. Now it is healthy. I used to have weak personal boundaries. Now I can handle myself in any social situation. Previously I couldn't meet my needs. Now I do. I used to feel weak and powerless. Now I can stand up to anything. I used to hide my feelings. Now I express them when I need to. I used to be ashamed. Now I am not and I do not hide anything. This is all that I can think of now.

How did I do it? First you have to recognize what your issues are. I think that a lot of our issues come out when we interact with others. I would seek out situations which would trigger my issues. Identify the issues then on to analysis.

Find info from therapists, reading, others, etc. to help you understand the issue completely. Understand yourself completely and how you react and feel about this issue (this is under recognizing the problems too). Understand where the issue came from. I feel this is important because you can't change anything if you have a little message in your head that is driving your behavior. Of course these messages formed when we were children and we didn't have good mental capabilities when we were in our unresponsive environments (unresponsive to our needs). One of my examples was when I couldn't understand why I wouldn't meet my needs. Well, I discovered this little message that I believed that my mom would stop loving me if I did. She wasn't tending to my needs so I thought that I shouldn't either because children always want to please their parents. Once I uncovered this message and examined it and found it to be a child's thought and I threw it out.

No social skills - watch others and learn.

Low self-worth, where did it come from? For me I had a Narcissistic mother who didn't focus too much time on me. Message - If your own mother thinks that you are unworthy of her time you must be worthless. Of course I threw this thought out too.

Boundaries - learn that I can say no and set boundaries. I never knew that I could until my first therapist told me so. Same with empowerment. I never knew that I could be in control of me.

Shame - realized that healthy people aren't ashamed. Threw it out.

Feelings, began expressing them. First in therapy then to others when needed. Unloaded the cart of all my unexpressed feelings over the years.

You must live in the present and be aware of your surroundings and how you are reacting to them.

Now how I got rid of my anxiety for good. I would be in situations which would trigger anxiety. I would sit in the situation and tell myself that I am safe now and that I am only anxious because my feelings from the past are being triggered. I would tell myself that the past is over and I need to feel for today. Gradually my triggered anxiety would get less and less until it disappeared. Any new situations which would trigger anxiety I would do more self talk.

Relaxation exercises to relax my body (this was very early on). Once you get good at relaxing your body you can just tell yourself to relax and you can. You don't need to do the exercise anymore. I used to have knots in my back all the time. I haven't had a knot in my back in years. Clenched teeth during the day. Catch yourself and stop. Gradually the habit is gone. Shoulder sup to your ears. Catch yourself and put them back down. Eventually that reflex will be gone too.

Major self-awareness, education about the problems and focus and hard work.......