yea sun, i think it has to do with the age - the compassion for others, personally speaking, was something I always had to some degree, but I became more sensitive as I grew older.. more thoughtful of others.

I don't think either that they are unfeeling - it wouldn't surprise me one bit if your older daughter was just hiding her feelings so as not to be "embarassed".

Maybe you could open up a dialogue again about the whole thing and see what comes up?