((((Desirae)))) I know how horrible you feel, how much like a total failure, and probably absolutely hopeless. You sure have had a go of it, eh?

Now, there's a short vignette I'd like to share here...hopefully it will take the sting out of what I want to say.

In the early 20th century, two different guys went to Africa to scope out the country for a shoe manufacturer. The one guy looked at everyone and sent back a message, "Stop shipment, nobody wears shoes here.
The other guy scoped out the areas and excitedly sent a message, "Triple the order of shoes, NO ONE is wearing shoes here!" One guy felt it was hopeless, the other felt it was endless possibility.

You have truly seemed to hit bottom. You can stay there, or you can take a different look on it. You have a chance to begin again, and try to do better. Losing custody of your children, a place to live, a job are all temporary circumstances. You can change that for the future. Will it be hard? Absolutely! Will you need someone to guide you? Yes, indeed, maybe plenty of people's help. You aren't the only one who's hit bottom. I've been poor, rich, lost everything in a storm, and then well off again, mostly due to none of my own making, except this last time.

I believe in you, I believe you can learn and that you can find the strength and courage to do this. Don't give up. Have a good cry, even a pity party if you need to. Then, begin asking everyone for help and education and whatever else it is you need, and make a new future.