I know she meant it nicely, like a compliment. What feels wrong is my reaction. I don't care to eat anymore. I am trying, a little. It's just that I know what I am capable of, and it scares me! I am thinking that I just want to be thinner. I miss the way I used to be. I want to see more bone.

Last night I barely ate, and of what I did, it felt like it didn't belong there. It was tempting to get rid of it. I didn't, but the urge and thoughts were there. I really wanted to.