thanks but I'm nothing good. I'm just an idiot. now I'm feeling so %#@&#! alone and so bloody useless because I have no one to talk to who cares, my friends just tell me I should talk to be polite and pretend that I'm worth something but everyone knows I'm not. doctors don't tell me a %#@&#! thing. they expect me to just sit here and be okay? I'm not *&!@%#@ okay. the person I love is in a hospital, of course I'm not doing well.

can't call anyone, can't message anyone, can't text anyone, I need her.

can't do anything right and I should just lock myself in my room and hide because I've gone and ruined everything. wouldn't be missed, me going away would be a great relief and break for everyone.