I can't really put into words right now how I feel...mostly sick
I am tired, I just want to curl up in a ball and fade away...
I am so low....and I'm unable to communticate it to people I need to
I hurt all over, I can't sleep, I should be excited and happy I'm going on vaction tomorrow and it's just me and my best friend...
I applied for a new job that has better pay and hours.
I can't shake this feeling, this gnawing feeling in my chest,
So much bad news in just two days.....

My mom has a lump in her breast, she has a mamamogram next month, she tells my not to worry, it's probably nothing but a cyst...but I can't
the fear of lossing her is keeping my up at night, all that unsaid and unexpressed grief from my grandmother is brought up, I twist and turn and have horrible nightmares...

Today something really bad happend in my home town, it's so sad how much this one family has had to endure, I don't really want to post about it becasue I fear of triggering someone but all I keep thinking about is how upset and sad this state trooper looked how sad he was just sitting there in his patrol car in the sonic parking lot not even eating the food he ordered.....

Just too much, too much loss, too many raw emotions being brought up....
I'm sorry I don't mean to whine or take up other's time, I just had to get it all out...I think I'm going to cry...