i dont know how to start this post...but a bit ago i was lost..i had alot of questions..whys and whens..i know i have still have alot of work to do but something has happened..besides the new problem of knowing im losing my job..otherwise i feel like im gaining control..i see myself different..i dont wanna be controlled by the past..i want to live in the future..my future..i want to make good strong desicsions...i still want to help people but be able to say no sometimes and not feel bad about it...i want my daughter to see a strong mother..and not settle for abusive men..i dont know what it was but it has happened..it doesnt even feel scary...ive even slept the past few nights with no terrors..im not gonna question this..i am gonna except this and hope this is this the start of my new future..