This is what I understand to be true, but I'm no legal expert.

1. Physical violence is assault. It is prosecutable by law. He can start the fight, and if you win, turn around and press charges against you. Even if there were witnesses, things can get all twisted around in the courtroom. I would urge you to avoid violence. Many insightful things have already been said about this. Perhaps one of the things we all have to wrestle with as a matter of character is to how to lose gracefully upon occasion.

2. I would be very cautious about zinging this guy with words. I heard a very interesting thing on NPR a day or two ago.

The last thing most frequently said before a person gets shot is, "Yeah, go ahead and shoot me then" to the person holding the gun, according to the investigating officers nationwide. It never happens to the heros in movies, they contemplate, so people think it is brave and the assailant will back down. Police say -- give the person with the gun whatever they want, quickly, and be respectful. Do not ever say, "Go ahead and shoot me." I think being clever with words in such a situation is a variation on the "Go ahead and shoot me" theme.

3. I've had to take 2 seminars on harrassment law this year, complete with tests and certification, at both colleges where I teach. If your employer is not aware of harrassment guidelines, look it up on federall websites. Being threatened is not okay. Is not even legal.

This is a tough situation. I think the thing to remind yourself is that it will take great inner strength not to take the low road. If you learn the self-control and self-respect to behave with reason, and visualize a positive outcome without coming to blows or even a shouting match, you will rightfully feel proud of yourself in the end.