I have been thinking about so many things in respect to relationships, and how to have them. What my responsibilities are in the responses I evoke from others.

How does one become authentically compassionate? I don't mean the kind of silly-faced smile one sees on some people who join a cult, absorb a feel-good philosophy they never question, and greet every situation with a kind of brainless emptiness that seems like an imitation of loving-kindness.

No, not that kind of compassionate, but open-hearted compassion that requires us to look inward and outward and grow to accommodate new people, situations, and stressors.

I've also been thinking about some dimly remembered Bible story, and I'm not sure that I've got this right. Something about the shepherd who leaves the whole flock and goes back to find the one lamb who became lost and separated from the flock. Because every lamb that strays is as important as the whole flock that is safe.

I've also been thinking about a social theory by a man named Kenneth Burke. He believes that humans naturally feel "guilt" because of the basic act of having to distinguish a "me" that is separate from "you." As soon as there is separation, there is higherarchy -- on person placing himself or herself higher or lower than You. It is from that, the hierarchy, that one experiences guilt. To make the pain of the guilt go away, blame is placed on one person in the society -- the victim. The victim is sacrificed. There is momentary catharsis -- but then the group realizes that separation was created between them and the other, the sacrificial victim. And the process of victimage starts again. For those of you who are not Christian, the story of victimage/sacrifice/catharsis is much older than Christianity. There was a kind of sacrifice called The Burning Man in the ancient Celtic kingdoms. It may have been Druid, my archaeological history is a bit rusty.

This is a meandering post. If you made it to the end of this thing without your eyelids falling shut, thank you for reading.