And you know, it's just the dissociation at work. It's frustrating at times, I know, but it's there for a reason.

I really hate it when I dissociate from big things in that way. When I *know* something felt very real and present at one time, but now it feels so distant it's hard to believe it even happened at all. That happens round here a lot. It makes it really hard to hold on to my truth. Because everything that feels real and true in one moment all gets taken away from me in the next.

So, you know, you had a really hard session - emotionally intense, by the sound of it - and now you're dissociating it, and the memory of the session is slipping through your fingers like it was all a dream.
Which is probably your learned response to dealing with intense feelings, given that (I am going to make assumptions here, since I know you are dissociative) you dealt with trauma and intense feelings in childhood in the same way.

I think it' s hard to learn new ways to deal with them, hard to teach yourself that you *can* cope with those things now, and they don't need to be taken away from you. But I do think it can be done, in baby steps. When it happens to me sometimes trying to hold on to the knowledge that I *did* feel those feelings / have that memory / have that experience is enough for now.

Umm I think I'm rambling. Guess I just want to say you're not crazy or losing it or anything... just dissociating from the session's events, because it was big and hard and that's how you've learned to deal with all things of that nature. For me, understanding it from that perspective helps me realise I'm not crazy and also helps me work at learning ways to not dissociate important imformation.

Egads, I hope this makes sense. I am not so sure it does!