Hi Wants,

This is strong stuff, and IMHO the sort of thing we should be addressing.

In societies full of cultural differences, one thing is remarkably consistent. No -one wants to be the victim, the runt of the litter, the 'shut out'. The victim is the bottom of the pile, and I don't personally buy the Christian apologetics for this. Victim is the pits and everyone knows it.

Just look at the way schoolkids will avoid a victim. Once the bullying has started and one has been singled out, no one will befriend that person, in the fear of contagion. I have written some performance poetry on this subject, and I have a hankering to write and perform some more.

One of the bitterest pills for me to swallow is the admission that I have been a victim. Every fibre of my being wants to deny this. Every psychological strategy in the book looks attractive compared to admitting the truth. That's how bad 'victim' is.

When my father was near to his death, I tried to talk to him. I told him something of my life, although I avoided the biggest thing, which was the way he himself had treated me. My father said to me - wait for it - "It seems to me that you have made yourself the victim." I had not used that word, he used it. I remember feeling that I wanted to strangle him with my bare hands, right there and then. But I didn't. Instead I helped to nurse him and was alone with him at the end.

You know - it's a funny old world. (Now who's rambling)

Myzen.