i have been so sporadically on here that i haven't quite kept up with the thread... but i quickly skimmed through some of the replies.....

my take on coping skills.....

coping skills are to me much like learning larger words - or adding to your vocabulary. certain situations in life require pause to contemplate and figure out just how we are to express ourselves (for example vocabulary). sometimes just saying 'pretty' or 'ooohhhh' just doesn't do it anymore. coping skills are much like this.

there is a point in everyones life when coping skills are REQUIRED in order to make it. coping the death of a loved one for example teaches us the process of death and dying and how to cope with it. people who deal with this process on a regular basis (healthcare workers for example) cope with death in a much different way than a seamstress. its not the process thats flawed or the coping itself thats the problem - its all about exposure and the ability of the person to deal with it in a healthy way.

some people just don't have the ability to deal (or cope) with things the way others do. for example i am very handicapped when it comes to dealing with political environments and political situations. i have a tendancy to just call it how it is - not good in those situations. i realized that being in that environment isnt my forte and i dont go near it anymore for my own benefit. others however thrive in that environment and due to my lack of 'political savy' (or a$s kissing/pulling one over/covering up) i don't do well and honestly dont care to. others see that as a weakness - i however see it as a strength. but its all in how you look at it.

coping skills are a necessary part of dealing with life and there's nothing wrong with learning how to cope with a new environment in order to adjust. sometimes its not for everyone and individuals have to revert to a previous lifestyle in order to manage (hopefully reverting is not going from possibly good back to bad). sometimes reverting to a former environment is good if there is something we are suppossed to gain from it.

the point is that its all about being healthy in the end. coping is a strategy that helps us understand how to work and live in new situations. sooner or later coping just turns into living and we don't even realize we are 'coping' anymore - but are rather just living with a new set of parameters we made for ourselves in order to stay healthy. that to me is survivial of the fittest.

soliders for centuries have learned to cope rapidly to change and high stress environments. and while that might not be the example we are looking for - soon enough soldiers work rapidly from a coping state to an operational state the longer they are left in that environment (and many times they will support each other - for the organization to survive as a functional unit each person has to fulfill their duties or the moral and the function of the unit suffers as a whole)