Quote:
Originally Posted by xylia
My mom... was always very emtional.
She was always hanging over me. When she said I love you, I didn't care. A hug was an uncomfortable squeeze.
She would always tell me all her troubles and I quickly became her "best friend" at the age of 8.
Whenever I did something she didn't like, she would yell and scream at me....
My dad ... I also, never attached to him. He was an agry, brooding sort of person, that was quick to point the finger of blame at someone else. He didn't talk much, and he didn't show affection... When I got older, he used to yell at me, and call me names, and swear.
By the age of 9 ... I trusted nobody. Anybody could hurt me. Everything anybody said had an underlineing meaning for me.
I'm sorry ... That I'm a girl.
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Xylia, your parents might have had some good points but what you write above is harmful and it harmed you. It wasn't your fault because you were the child...
About you not enjoying your mom's hugs, some people just need more physical space than others and this is their right and it needs to be respected. You might have also not wanted your mother to hug you because you were angry with her or because she was already smothering you emotionally with her emotional neediness. Which brings me to the point that when a parent turns a child into an adult friend this is always harmful. Parents are supposed to be parents. Adults are not supposed to be leaning on their children for emotional support.
I can see how you grew up not trusting others because of what you have described about the relationships that you had with your parents.
There is sexism in many cultures and subcultures. Do you think that you were treated differently because you were a girl?