Minime,
If I got custody of a small child, I would be rather tense, even though I loved Him and wanted to care for him. Caring for a child is a demanding job. I think it is very kind and loving for you to take him in and love him full-time. I hope things settle out for you soon. Small children need a lot, but they are also wonderful and adorable little humans. I hope to have grandchildren some day. Hang in there!
Leslie and the Pixies