I had my appointment with my therapist today. I almost missed my appointment! I took a nap and didn't get up when the alarm went off. Thankfully I woke up just in time.

The first thing my therapist did was to apologize for what happened last week. The first thing I did was to tell her that I wanted an apology from J. Then we talked about how I felt and what I was thinking. I told her that the comment that was made last week was very hurtful and it embarrassed me. I said that because of what happened, group was no longer a safe place for me. I also let her know that this comment wasn't the only thing this person has done that has sent up red flags for me. I felt like my therapist was hearing what I was saying. She said that other people in the group also complained about this person and that at least one person came to her after the last group because they were worried about me because of the comment.

The person who made the comment wanted my phone number. My therapist did NOT give her the number for confidentiality reasons AND because she didn't think she could trust her not to make other comments that would hurt me. This person gave her number to my therapist and asked for me to call her. My therapist said that would not be a good idea, again, because she didn't trust her to not be rude to me.

I really felt that my therapist was sincere and cares about me. I did talk about the issue of the comment not being addressed when it occurred. My therapist said that she was shocked that the comment was made and was afraid if she addressed it right then that the person would make other rude comments and she didn't want it to get worse.

My therapist was going to speak to me right after group, but I got out of there so fast she didn't have a chance to talk to me. She and the other therapist spent about an hour talking about what happened and then they were going to email me. I had already sent her my original email stating that I was going to drop out of group.

My therapist shared, many times, that she and the other therapist discussed the fact that the person who made the comment was not ready to be in a group. With 15 minutes left in my session she went to the other therapist and then came back to tell me that the decision had been made that the person would NOT continue in group therapy for at lease 6 months (or longer depending on how she behaved). I was glad to hear that. My therapist asked if I wanted to speak to the person directly to get an apology and I said that I did. So we are scheduling a meeting for us to get together outside of group (which was my choice). We'll also discuss the incident with the members of the group also (hopefully this Thursday).

So I will be able to tell this person that she hurt me and get an apology. I'll be able to continue in group because she won't be there anymore. I'll keep seeing my therapist for individual therapy also. And, I'll be on my guard for anything like this happening again. I did ask if it was okay for me to say something directly in group if anyone else makes hurtful comments to me or anyone else and my therapist said it would be appropriate to do that. She understood why I didn't say anything last week (the shock and family history).

We actually had some time to discuss other things and that was a good way to end the session.

I did go over my 'script' I wrote out and have been practicing, with my therapist, and she thought I was on the right track.

Sorry this has been so long , but this really is an important issue for me. I appreciate all the encouragement and suggestions.