Tomorrow we're going to have a network meeting with almost all of the people who are involved with giving our son the support and help he needs.

We're going to be about 15 persons and hubby and I are leading it all. I'll do most of the talking (since my mouth is always moving anyway) and hubby will take notes. We usually complement each other pretty well at these meetings.

I'm just so worried about sitting there tomorrow bringing up all the different matters and issues - concerning G - that we have to take care of and delegate to the right persons. It takes so much energy to lead these meeting! Energy is something I don't have much of these days. Well... it has to be done and it will be done. This is something needed to get everything around our son organized in a satisfying way.

My OCD hits in real bad every time at the network meetings... I'm analyzing everything in detail. How do I sit on my chair... how do I talk... do I look the others in their eyes enough... do I talk too much... do I talk in a correct way... ??? Do they think I'm weird... do they sit and think about the fact that I've got Asperger's too... do they judge me... do they look at how fat I am...??? In the middle of all these worries and questions I still talk and do my "job". Exhausting!
But it's for my son... so I'll do it over and over again... I love him and he needs me and his dad. Actually it's also for our daughter... since the help G gets will affect her life too.

I just had to write a bit this evening...

This thread is really helping me to go on - feeling all the compassion in your words. Thank you, all!!!!