It is almost 3 am right now. The funeral will be at 12:45. We are Jewish, so it is a fairly short and simple thing. We will be at the chapel for around 20 minutes, and the Rabbi assured me that the gravesite part will only take about 5 minutes. I just want it to be over.

I am so scared for tomorrow. I don't know how badly I will fall apart, considering how badly I have taken it so far. I will speak briefly at the service. Hopefully I can't get through this.

I cannot believe my dad is going into the ground.

T has been amazing. I sat in the backyard of my parent's house today (where I would always sit with my dad) and I took T through all the memories of that backyard... told him all of the scariest, most bizarre and traumatic thoughts that went through my head when I first found out... and he just listened to it all and told me it was okay to tell him whatever I wanted.

I can't wait to be in his office again.

Once again, thank you all for your support and caring words.