(((((reddevil)))) ((((Sannah)))) (((((Purplebutterfly)))) (((((Babyg)))))) (((((ktgirl)))))

Thank you all, I'm not sure what triggered it, Sometimes I just get theses urges to run and get away from everyone, like all the social stuff gets to me, sometimes it's really hard to pretend I'm okay. I think what could have triggered it was in speech class we where doing speechs and one girl did her's over her grandparents and started crying, crying makes me really uncomfterable, I just kinda of freaked and my anxiety level raised when I had to go do my speech, getting up in front of people use to be so easy for me...then calling the doctor it all went downhill from there, I've been having really bad problems with disacociating here lately, I just keep losing little bits of time, I can't recall things...I'm just scared, I dont' know, I wish I had thearpy this week but I don't. I did write a big journal entry though to explain to her what's been going on with me here latley, she will probably laugh at me and call me a liar like my parents did when I told them back in January what was going on, I don't want to be laughed at, What I'm experencing is real, I've just never had anyone listen to me, I've never had anyone take me serious when I cry out for help, I don't think I could stand another push down into the mud......I just want help...I'm jsut so tired of trying to hide behind a mask, so tired of lying to everyone...I'm so broken..........