Hi September, I had anxiety and I would have feelings triggered by certain situations. I didn't have any incident in my past that I was referring to either. I just grew up feeling insecure because of my family and any number of situations would trigger a feeling of insecurity and bring back my feelings from the past. It sounds like this might be what you are doing but you are thinking of a specific incident from the past and the feelings are coming back with it. My vote is that it is not a flashback but this is only my opinion.

Sounds like you are trying to sort out your past in your mind? Is this the first time that you have been in a "place" where you could look back? Remember, you only have to settle the past in your own mind. You do not have to convince others to see it from your point of view. If you try to get others to see your point of view it will suck all of your energy away from you. Others have the right to believe what they want. The only opinion that matters on this, is yours. Please try to feel confident in what you believe.

I have read up on BPD before. The best explanation that I have ever read is that you take a very sensitive child and place her in a non-validating environment. In other words, her environment was not responding to her needs. Now everyone has different needs. Some kids need very little and survive the worst environments. Other kids need a lot of support even in the best of environments. I have one very sensitive child. I have to help her all the time with how to deal with others and her environment. My other daughter is very tough. She can survive anything. She doesn't need as much support. I am a stay-at-home mom, with have a nice, problem-free, stable life and I have tons of time for my kids and I have a knack for listening and helping and it is hard for me to help my daughter to adjust to the world sometimes. If your daughter had the stress of her father's illness and this illness would unsettle the whole family by having the family revolve around him, it is no wonder that she had trouble.