Heathery, my parents split when I was 5, I can remember trying to mediate their fights at one point. Now I'm 37. My memories of those days are clouded, but I remember how slow and hateful life seemed to be. I had to live with my mom who had issues but still tried hard, and would visit my dad who remarried and his wife had two kids, that abused me (she had two boys and I'm male). I failed grade 2 (figure that out). The abuse from my step-brothers stopped when I was in my teens, but not soon enough. It's impacts are huge. I married at 21, and my wife had our first son when we where 30 (1 month apart between us).

I held my son for several hours after birth. In my hands was a miracle; a chance to write a different history then the one recorded in my head.

I didn't know what to do with my life, I've had about 25 different jobs. I went in debt to go to college, lived in someones basement (not finished), used to sleep on the floor while in college cause I couldn't live with my mom anymore.

I finished my MBA a year ago. I don't have bi-polar, I'm posting on this board as a family person trying to help a family member work through his illness, but came across your post. You had an affect on me in reading your comments.

My story has good stuff in it, it has bad stuff in it, and stuff that just doesn't really matter in the end. Who knows how my story will end. I don't have any answers. For me all I could do is set one goal after another and work to reach them. I failed many times and succeeded in a few.

I know no comment takes away the self doubt, the questions, (and in my case self loathing) and angst about ones life, but you matter. As a person, as a human you have value, sometimes we can't see our value, but as the years pass our value to others begins to show. It takes time, and faith in yourself. Sometimes just time produces the answers one seeks.

Sometimes the answers aren't in words, but in actions, or experiences, or in the things we see around us.

For what it's worth those are my thoughts.