Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiya
Hehehe... Wow - you are lucky. I am also lucky. Out of all the scary, freaky T's in the world, I am beginning to see just how lucky I am. T tells me that I can tell her she's wrong or doesn't get it - but I'm not there yet. I can't. I can't even throw things at T when they want me too. Last t did want me too - any time I was offended by things she said she wanted me to throw a soft ball at her. No way. Finally i did get to the point where I could mime getting one and throwing it... and she would mime getting hit with it. heh. Glad you have such a great t =)
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((((((((Kiya)))))))))
You are right on about feeling fortunate to have a good T. I've been through bad T's years past, and read/heard about/seen horror stories from other people, including here on the board. That makes me feel extremely fortunate, and makes me remember to not waste our time together in session by my wandering mind. T also stops me of after about 3 minutes of wandering unfocused rambles of course, lol.
When you've had personal experiences with bad therapists and psychiatrists, or you were unfortunate enough to be trapped in the system and slapped with a diagnostic label (that is likely not even accurate in that case) and not really treated for it, it becomes quite scary to want to reach out for help in dealing with already scary and sad emotions/behaviors that you deal with in life. No one is a number, and I despise professionals who label their patients by their diagnosis-i.e. "he's a manic depressive", she's a histrionic", etc. No one can be defined by some diagnostic label (especially considering the DSM and ICD changes form every few years anyway, and thus, is not entirely reliable). I saw this all too often when I worked with psychiatric patients in the hospital for a time. Makes me ill to think of how patients are treated and regarded by "professionals" where I used to work.
Kiya, I know that eventually you'll take that step to be able to tell your T (who I think is absolutely fabulous by what you've relayed to us about her) if you don't think she understands something. You'll find it to be very therapeutic (when you have a good T like mine and yours), and it furthers the connection between you and T. It will probably make you more comfortable in expressing your emotions in a healthy way, and really solidifies that you are a worthy person and should be understood--not some sort of a freak or personality or whatever label you have been essentially taught by the world and the system to consider yourself as.
Your T is wonderful Kiya. Open up with her, tell her when she doesn't quite get it, and then rephrase it so she does understand. I guarantee it will be appreciated by her.
