I may be different in that I have had lifelong problems with a mood disorder (bipolar) but most of the time depressed but I DID blame my husband for my depression, found fault in all he was doing, etc. when he was actually trying his best to help me & be supportive while actually surviving in the real world (like having a job & a boss!!) as it sounds like you are being incredibly insightful about her condition & supportive.

BUT please do get into therapy yourself & DON'T have any more children at this stage. We have 2 children & both have had to endure my bouts of depression during their childhoods where they were more like the parent than I was. I know I'm not to blame for having a mental illness, etc., but when you have the choice do not put children through this.

Get your wife stable first so she can enjoy being the loving wife & mother she was meant to be. I don't want to scare you, but my mother did end up in a psychosis while in a depression (bipolar) & threateneded to kill us children & herself. She succeeded in killing herself. You do not want to let the depression go on & on. The thoughts can escalate into irrationality. Very RARE case--in my mother's case, I assure you, but you want her to be a happy & joyful mom & you don't want to have to worry about what kind of mood you'll find her in when you get home in each night so that you dread coming home. Please seek professional opinion in regards to this matter. Let us know hiow she & you are doing. I certainly can relate & care having been "your wife."--Suzy