I'm feeling very uppidy, kinda anxious, and very argumentative. I wanna keep moving, I wanna do something and I don't just want to sit here. I want to be away from me, but I don't have any alcohol and my throat hurts from smoking so much.

And still, I resist. Usually this is my pattern. I'll have the urge for days, resist for days, until that one day comes where I don't either have the energy to resist or care enough to resist. And this is my pattern. This is my cycle. This is my constant loss of control, feelings, emotions...I don't even know who I really truly am. I'm too afraid to find out.

[end emo rant.]