Well, I don't know about heard of or appreciated...

I feel like everyone just does everything out of pleasure (be it happiness, pride, lust, whatever), even though those same reasons have caused others lots of suffering. I associate it all with greed at those moments, how all those people are greedy for wanting happiness for themselves and not wanting others to be happy instead... I find myself thinking "If there were less people in the world who wanted to find happiness, and more people who wanted to make others happy instead of themselves, this world wouldn't be so horrible" at those moments... No one else sees things my way, and they'd rather find the way to obtain the most pleasure for themselves, be it by killing (for example... Serial killers), fighting (boxers and wrestlers), having too much money (corporate heads), people who are told "What about ME? What about MY needs?" (selfish husbands), people who stand out from the crowd in order to have their admiration, even if they lie about themselves (con artists), and such...

I loathe people like those. If they don't change by themselves, I end up thinking that they won't and that the world would be better off without them for being so selfish. That's when my intrusive thoughts start appearing about wanting to "destroy others", and the many colorful ways of doing them in... And they just keep coming and coming until the feelings pass over (which I usually just let them run amok until they evaporate, or I find something to distract myself with) and I can think clearly again.

But, other than that, I feel like I don't care if I lived a happy life or whatever, as long as I did what I felt I needed to do in order to change the world somehow, or at least the way people think... And even if I died and never reached my goal, I couldn't care less that my life was over...

The only true horror I have is that instead of dying, I survive, but paralyzed from the neck down, and no one wants to pull the plug on me, and I have to live maybe 20+ years as a vegetable. THAT is my horror, and that alone right now...

EDIT: Right before I went to my therapist today, I was thinking to myself "Why am I here? My view of life won't change, so why am I wasting my time here?", and I would've probably missed my session if I had a car to drive off with (I got dropped off)...