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KathyM · Sep 05, 2008, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by recluse1

We all matter and we all have something of value to share here.

Do poor, sick, and ugly people matter - or are they just to be used for someone else's pet project or entertainment, then thrown away? What is our value?

I am permanently disabled from a terminal illness, so I don't matter to mainstream society and the business world. I'm just a burden to them.

I ventured out into public the other day and sat on some bleachers. When I became ill and needed to get down, no one would move - they just gave me dirty looks, even though I tried my best to be polite. Two little kids tried to push me off, then giggled. When I managed to get back on solid ground, my legs and balance had given out due to the neuropathy, and I couldn't see where I was going. I became the spectacle behind the bleachers because people thought I was lost and drunk.

I don't feel like I matter to anyone anymore in society. I don't feel like my family matters to anyone either. It feels like people just want us to go away and disappear.

I matter to my husband, but caring, worrying and trying to provide for me all by himself is killing him too. He's not well either. He faces tremendous pressure out on the streets because no one cares about him either - they see him as "ugly" too. No one wants to hire him or help him fix our house. It rained in two rooms last night due to leaky roof, and a window is about to fall out (our home is old). It is no longer creaking, it's cracking. It's supposed to be a very cold winter, and we have no insulation.

I matter to our son, but apparently he's not allowed to have any contact with us until he comes home from deployment overseas - IF he comes home. He still hasn't read an email I sent to him several weeks ago.

What will happen to my son if he comes home to find his parents, his dog, and his home have been destroyed? Will he matter to anyone, or will they turn their backs and hope he disappears too?

I know I matter to God - but do I matter to people? If yes, to whom do I matter? Who can I trust in society to care for me as a person?

I'm really feeling down and without hope. Thanks for listening.