Thanks, everybody!
No, he doesn't have a T yet. He went one place and they did an evaluation, but he's still lost in the paperwork jungle when it comes to actual treatment. It makes sense that this would be a part of the course. I've read some stuff that suggests that some cases of DID are related in some way to PTSD, and that adds up to 100 for him...and it makes sense there would be flashbacks.

I just don't know what to DO. He's still learning how to tell when something IS about to happen, and until he can identify the start of an episode, I can't think of much we can do to calm it. I guess the best i can do is stay with him and make sure that he's safe, that he doesn't hurt himself (or anyone else). My neighbor across the street is "in" on this with us, and she's promised to keep an eye out for him when I'm not home.

I don't know WHY things seem to be getting worse...unless...he's safe now. I wonder...maybe more of this is coming to the surface because it's safe for him to feel it all now. Kinda the way i can be really good in a crisis, then after it's over I fall to pieces. Maybe it's like all the pressure that's been building up from trying to deal with this alone is just finally blowing the roof off...?

I don't know. I just know i love him. He's really supportive of me, too. There are a lot of ways that I'm not really functional either, and he's good at taking care of those. Put us together and you've got one really bright, functional person...

I understand better than some people I guess. I'm not sick the same way, but I'm not the poster child for sanity/normalcy either. Maybe that's why I'm a little sad sometimes. Back before I began treatment, back when I was still sick, I didn't have anyone who really understood. I had people who cared about me and loved me, but they didn't understand and they didn't really help. I mean, I guess they helped. I was never sent to the hospital, even though I probably should have been. But the guy who tied me to the couch when I was psychotic wasn't doing me any favors, either. My folks never took my sickness seriously (but they gave me some of it to begin with!). I never had a BF who could really understand. Nobody who wanted to be part of my solution...and in some ways, I feel like i missed out. I don't get to be that sick anymore, I can't do it. Therapy, meds, therapy, meds - The worst is under control for me now. But I wish I had known someone who would hold me while reality wavered and splintered before my very eyes, hold me while I cried or dissociated or shifted. But that's a little of this with Jon. He deserves the care that I never got. I KNOW something like what he's going through, and I'm determined that this wonderful man shouldn't have to do this alone.

I've got good support around me. My neighbors are like family (only better). I'm active in AA and in a few mental health support groups. Jon is a loving partner and great support in most other ways. Even the people I work with know about me and look out for me. The only thing rough is that I can't see MY T for a while. My insurance visits ran out and I'm too behind on bills to afford the full-cost appointments yet. *sigh*

Thanks for listening. You all are great - so strong and brave. (And I mean ALL - alters are brave, too!) I know we'll get through this...I just get tired and scared sometimes.