(((((freewill))))) your right your heart counts.... first i want to tell you that i understand that right now you don't feel like you count... and that others don't care... but i want you to know that you count and i am listening... you were not responsible for the choices your husband made... and being a stronger person has nothing to do with it... if a teenager hurts a younger child... is it the child's fault abusive men, make the choice to abuse (i know, i am saying this for myself as much as for you)... abusive men seem to know where you are vulnerable... i think if mine had hit me... i would have seen it as abuse.... mine abused me the same way i was abused as a child/teen... and because it seemed normal... even though i didn't like it... and i knew it was wrong... i was willing to except the blame for his abuse... if i hadn't been molested... if i hadn't said no... he wouldn't have had to force himself on me... if i hadn't had that drink ... if i hadn't gone to his apartment... if i had worn a bra... i could go on with this list forever... and if anyone else said those things i would be the first to tell them the truth... but for me the rules are different... you know?

you didn't say what choice your alter made, but you do have a say in the decision... your important! let your voice be heard... When my boys were young... it was easier for me to be firm... and hold the line... when they became adults my oldest son began taking all of his anger out on me... and still does... and i shut down... and give him what he wants... my t the other day asked me how long i was going to enable my boys... and it really hurt to have him say that to me... and i took it very personally... he knows my boys well we saw him for family therapy for several years when they were young and he continues to stay in contact with them (with my permission)... but he also has said on many occasions that he cares about them... but is very unhappy with the way they treat me... i know that sometimes t try and shake us a bit... it sounds like yours shook you too hard and i am sorry about that... i am glad you were able to tell him what he did... you are stronger then i am, because i wouldn't have been able to do that... i just sit quietly most of the time... and if he doesn't pick up on it... most of the time it goes unsaid... you are so much stronger then you know...please stay safe...lyn