No, I didn't. I think I am scared of what I might hear. I guess I want to keep this idea I have that they are good people, care about others, etc. I think it is probably true. There were good points made here about their age being a contributor. The response of my oldest to the DUI panel, I think, may partly be because she feels a bit unjustly accused of the DUI. There were some discrepancies not in her favor in the police report, and the police officer also lied to both her and me, so she feels burned by "the system," and so was perhaps going to have a chip on her shoulder about going to the DUI panel and learning or feeling anything. My youngest, the one who wanted me to videotape the speakers, hear the gory details, and thinks the grief of others is funny, is of more concern to me. But this is how she is, and I have known this for years, and worried about it for years. I try to not get stuck in that and think the best, do what I can to be a good parent and get outside advice to help me with that, encourage any glimmer of empathy I see in her (rare in any teenager, I know!), get her outside help (she has a therapist), etc.

Thanks, all, who commented. Sometimes it helps to let our fears be heard.