DO NOT READ IF NOT IN A GOOD PLACE.








Sorry this is a bit graphic.

I've been having this dream lately that wakes me up sweating and crying. In the dream, I am alone in my room with my uncle, lying in bed. It is dark, but I can still see. The dream has this vivid and solid quality. He walks over and takes off my covers and starts to unbutton my shirt. I try to make a sound and he puts his hand over my mouth. He's murmmering and I can't understand, like he's speaking a foreign language. He runs his hands over my chest. He then pulls off my pants. I am too terrified to speak. He starts to undress himself. I can't move, can't speak, I feel caught in my body and so,so aware. I find myself staring at him, wishing to look away. He then takes off my underwear, and gets on top of me. I feel trapped between him and the sheets of my bed. He rubs against me. And then, right before he penetrates me, I wake up.

I just don't trust anyone in my life to tell them about this. I feel so scared and confused. I manage to act normal in my life [an art I have down to a t], but inside this really, really bothers me. I keep recollecting this dreams in my daily life, like I'm reliving the dream. I don't know why I'm having these dreams.... was I abused sexually? Or are they a representation of my feelings right now? I just don't know.

I need a really, really safe hug right now.

:Sob::Sob:

I'm sorry...

Thank-you.