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For me...I don't visually see peoples energy fields. But when I am able to move my focus out of my head and into my body, I feel a lot of things--it scares me sometimes. I also definitely get into situations, especially in therapy, where it feels like my neural connections suddenly become hypersensitive and it feels like the trillions of individual cells in my body start vibrating on a higher frequency.
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I don't see aura's either, but I am sensitive to people's energy. I've always been that way. After my trauma I felt like I was numb, and it really freaked me out. At one point I found the book 'Waking the Tiger' by Peter Levine, and he explained how the body responds to trauma.
He gives the example of a bird that flies into a window. It will lay there stunned, then get up and flutter around and fly off. If you pick up the bird before it shakes off, it will die. After a trauma, the body needs to release all that energy.
I know what you mean about feeling like I'm going to explode. T helps me by focusing me in on the moment -- getting in touch with my body. Just noticing where in my body I feel something, and describing it, or focusing on it. I *think* it is using some gestalt techniques. It has been very helpful, and slowly I do feel like I'm able to release.
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What was your T response? I know they are good at hiding their "your really freak'en nuts, response", but how to you really think she received this information?
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T was wonderful. He did the best he could to validate my experiences, and I think he was really honored that I trusted him enough to share. It took me a long time to work up to this, and I tested him plenty along the way.
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Anyway... with my new, more open T communications... after I recorded the details of what I was experiencing and was unable to come up with no real conclusions about the experience on my own, I EMAIL everything I had written to my T that night. Basically said,.. I have no idea what just happened but I think it means something. Copy & pasted that part of my personal journal into the email message and clicked send.
That was 3 weeks ago, what ever it was, it was over with that night. Now I am wondering... do I now have a new label in my chart? I know my T will not outwardly respond negatively to it, but I am kind of concerned about the whole thing.
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I see this as such a great opportunity. IMHO, what happened does mean something, and your instinct is correct. Since you did such a great job writing down what you felt, you may still be able to find some meaning in the experience.
((chaotic)) I'm so sorry T hasn't said anything for 3 weeks. I think I'd burst if that happened to me! I would definitely bring it up with T, and talk about it. As I mentioned above, there are legitimate schools of therapy that pay attention to body sensations, and there is nothing pathological about being aware. If *anything* the fact that you were so aware of the feeling is a positive sign.
