I've never told anyone this. It started about 1 yr ago when I was highly stressed @ another job. In the past 2 yrs., I've learned to be quiet and let a LOT of my feelings stay inside-not like me. Some make sense, others don't. I talk outloud when I'm alone; it's usually a "discussion" (one sided - I don't speak as another person). I tend to say things that I cannot or wouldn't stemming from actual feelings or conversations. I noticed I get angry or "put someone in their place" during these "talks". It's always things I want to say. (e.g.: being very direct and "smart" when talking to my sister, who hates me, and being able to make her stop) Other times, it's work or relationship related. Also, just weird stuff-talking about my life, son, etc. - almost like someone is "interviewing me". In the past, I've never really heard voices - just my name whispered at times - noticed many experience that. I do not hear voices now, nor have any "in my head" directed me to do things. This is really scaring me now, as it's increased. In the last few weeks, I've been highly stressed, had surgery, hormone replacement therapy, etc. My diagnosis of BP II no longer holds as true - it appears to be BP and mania. (excessive talking, racing thoughts are worse than ever).

It's taken me about 2 hours to finally post this. I'm sorry (another thing I always am!) this is so long. But I am so scared...