I also started to isolate myself when I got into a bad depression & I just couldn't relate to people anymore. I always wanted to cry & thought negative thoughts & they were going out to lunch & shopping. I could cry at inappropriate times & embarrass myself.

I also gained weight as I stayed home & soothed myself with food & then became more depressed & isolated myself more due to the shame of how I looked.

I also would recommend individual therapy, group therapy if possible as well (I attend a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy group). I also attend a support group through the local mental health assoc. for people who have depression, bipolar or anxiety. We can talk about our difficulties, get feedback, brainstorm & practice our "social skills." I've made some good friends there who understand when I stuggle with communicating or get embarrassed.

I've also MADE myself be around people to work on my social skills. When I find myself isolating too much I'll go to a coffee shop with a book just to be around other humans. I sign up for classes like knitting, am in a book club at the local library, take computer & exercise classes, anything that is interesting to me & puts me in contact with people. It is easier to talk to people when the focus is not just on you & the other person.

You can talk about the stitches you dropped (knitting) or the book & why you liked it or didn't, discuss the stuff you are learning, etc. Then you just gradually get into talking about more personal stuff. I, too, have done some incredibly stupid things to blow relationships out of the water. I just have to forgive myself for not having the skills at that time to keep a relationship in good working order.

I'm learning skills to communicate more effectively in my DBT group & my support group as well & through reading. I'm also learning I have to figure out what my core values are, what my beliefs are & to get some self respect so I'm not walking around feeling like I have to apologize for being alive.

Learning to like yourself & having things you enjoy doing when you are alone helps, too. I like to read, write, knit...

Also, I am taking a diabetic educ./weight loss & nutrition class at the local hospital as my weight gain has now caused me to have high blood pressure & cholesterol & pushed me into the blood sugar range of diabetes. Both my parents were diabetic & I don't want to add another condition to my list & more meds to my "rap sheet." So I'm also investigating a yoga class (for help in stress reduction as I'm a highly anxious person) & then one to help with weight loss to hopefully get the blood sugar levels down.

Now who is writing the long post?? Try some of the ideas of the others & maybe some of mine & report back. I don't have a huge amount of friends, but I find the ones who do share my values, are comfortable with my dx of bipolar (2 of them are bipolar as well--from my support group), 2 are therapists (!) that I do volunteer work with in the local jail (I assist them in a support group for the women there). I will never be a "lady who lunches" but I do prefer my involvement in volunteer work in mental health organizations, my very part-time job at a tennis club, my book club, etc. They are satisfying to me & I do like my alone time.--Suzy