Hi all,

New member here.

Anyways, the topic title is pretty self-explanatory. I have pretty much no friends and am constantly lonely. I'm 23 years old and should be enjoying my youth but rather, I’m upset all the time and feel like I have no one.

I wasn't always friendless. In school, I was in the 'popular group' and then I had some personal issues and started to use food as a sort of therapy. As I put on more and more weight, I started to become a different person and lost my self-esteem and confidence. I started losing contact with people because I became kind of boring and by the time school finished, I didn’t really keep in touch with anyone except one person.

When Uni started, I only found out news about the group through this one friend. She was pretty much my only connection to them. I mean, when we all went out as a group, we would talk and have fun but it’s not like we would call each other or do things alone. If I ever saw the others, it would only be because of that one friend.

After more and more time, people started to change and we drifted further apart. I did however, become closer to that one girl and we became sort of best friends. In my eyes anyway. We had tonnes in common and I felt we were like peas in a pod. However, I was often lonely back then too as sometimes, I’d be left out of outings. I’d find out about them later and cry. However, things with that one friend were generally good. She was fun and we had good times together.

A couple of years ago, I did her over pretty bad. I betrayed her in a big way and she never spoke to me again. I was destroyed. I don’t know why I did what I did. It was definitely not just one thing, but a mixture of things and emotions. Anyways, we haven’t spoken since.

For a while, I was deep in depression but then I just seemed to get out of it and felt a lot better. I got a job and started meeting people. I became much more outgoing in order to make new friends and was invited to things etc. I was often happy.

Thing is though, now I think those ‘friends’ I met at work are sick of me. They don’t really speak to me that much anymore and sometimes I find out that there were parties on that I wasn’t invited to and that they do things but don’t include me. And again, I get hurt. I don’t understand why this happens and why they get sick and tired with me? I’m a fun and outgoing person but it seems I can’t seem to really make and keep friends.
I don’t know what to do?

My weight issue has gotten MUCH worse since I’m often lonely and have no social life. I feel very self-conscious and get intimidated by people and situations a lot of the time. I have tried to work on my weight but I keep failing and it‘s so frustrating because I want to change so bad! I feel like I am in a really bad place in my life right now.

I have to mention that I do have one friend that I keep in regular contact with. She’s a good person but we don’t really mesh that well. We’re different in a lot of ways and like different things. I enjoy her company but NO way near as much as the other girl I was friends with before. We don’t really see that much of each other either. Maybe once every 2 weeks or so.

I still regret what I did to my friend and keep dwelling on it and it’s driving me nuts.

Also, I have problems with holding conversations sometimes. For example, sometimes I find I have nothing to say to the other person and then it gets awkward between us and I hate it.

I don’t know what to do. I’m in a bad situation and I need help.

Can someone please offer me advice in terms of making and keeping friends and possibly tell me what I could be doing wrong when I end up boring them?

Sorry for the HUGE amount I’ve written but I needed to explain it all and get it off my chest. I hope someone has some advice for me!

Thanks.
Vanessa